He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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