There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
