watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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