Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
