If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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