We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
