It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Someone signed my nipple.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize