so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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