16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
