I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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