this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
