i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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