wakey wakey hands off snakey
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
