is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
