Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
