i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
birth control should be required to get into college
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
