he wants to bone in the snuggie
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
