3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
