I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
