i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Randomize
