You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
