Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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