dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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