is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
