i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
