she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
