he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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