Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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