12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you win again, gameday.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
