I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
