How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
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I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
