Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
