He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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