I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize