I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
