I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize