At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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