I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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