Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
