Nicole vs. Life
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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