I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
How's work?
Spinning.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
