Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
