i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
