"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
