They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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