soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
