why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
