I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Everyone says I win the strip club
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I have aggressive nipples.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
