Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
