Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize