My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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