Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
