I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
