I'm lost and stupid without you.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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