you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
