im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
