Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize