She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Is it because I queefed?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
