O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
There's even glitter on my cock...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
