so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
