I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
