Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
