508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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