she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
