McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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