I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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