u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
