Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
should my penis look like a turkey
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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